— Just with you though (via enolajay)
So we started talking again, he began a whole spill about how he couldn’t function without me and realized how much I did for him. Then he started to talk serious about him moving down to where I live together. He wanted to spend his life with me and said that he didn’t want to spend it with anyone else. I got teary eyed and wanted to believe it. I told him that I won’t take the relationship serious unless I get to physically see him actually moving into our apartment together. So supposedly we’re back together but I’m not all on board and keeping not only my heart but my hopes in check.
Now the only problem left to tell my mum that I might be moving out in 8 eights. I’ll still be going to school and stuff. Of course that is still my top priority to finish. But I just hope she won’t cut me out of her life or think I’m running off to be with a guy and not want to be with the family anymore. I still want her around and if she needs me I’ll be a phone call away. I even told him about that… I just don’t want her to think I’m abandoning her. And I know she’s gonna be completely against it cause she’ll think I’m going against her.
Fuck! I’m an idiot and I can’t stop myself from getting out of this situation. It’s my own fault and if I burn then it’s no ones fault but my own.
What I mean when I say “I can’t do that”- Anxiety Version:
- I am unable to do that
- I am too stressed out to do that
- I cannot face the humiliation of attempting to do that
- My body will physically not allow me to do that
- I am on the verge of a panic attack
- I cannot do that
What people hear:
- I am unwilling to do that
- I am just shy
- I am overreacting
- I am lazy
- I need to get more experience in social situation to help my anxiety
- I need a push
- I don’t want to do that
Inspired by X